Our oldest daughter is graduating high school in a few months. She is nervous and excited, as any senior would be. But it is a miracle she is here.

I was only 28 weeks pregnant when Ava was born.

She weighed 1 pound, 15 ounces.

Our sweet little baby was only 14 inches long.

I don’t share this story often because honestly, we don’t think about it very much.

Ava is a very bright and talented artist. She has a wonderful group of friends, an intense imagination and loves animals deeply. No one meeting her today would have any idea what she went through as an infant.

So why am I sharing this story now?

As we are getting ready to celebrate her 18th birthday it’s hard not to look back at how far she’s come.

I’m also sharing to raise awareness because we were so lucky. Too many families have a tragic ending when their babies are born preterm. Click here to read more about the rise of prematurity rates in the United States.

How our story started

It was May. The end of my year as a speech pathologist working in an elementary school. This is a stressful time, as any school-based SLP will tell you, filled with meetings and paperwork.

I was looking forward to setting up our nursery over the summer as we waited for our August due date. My husband and I had decided not to find out what we were having. We wanted it to be a surprise. (ha)

I left work a little early one day to race to my 6-month doctor visit. Little did I know it would be over a year before I stepped foot in a speech room again.

I think the best way to retrace the days leading up to Ava’s birth is through a letter I wrote to her in the hospital.

My Darling Ava,

It is a sunny Sunday morning. My hospital room is filled with the scent of flowers. Two days ago, exactly you were being born. I’m sure you were expecting 12 more weeks in a cozy warm body, but God had plans for us to meet sooner than that.

I had an appointment with your doctor on Tuesday afternoon. It only took him a few minutes into our visit to notice the results of my blood pressure check. Normal for me had been 120/70, but that day it was 195/104. He immediately sent me to be admitted to the hospital. After realizing they needed to take quite a few tests I called your dad and asked him to come in. Oddly enough we were supposed to meet there that night anyway to start our birthing classes.

What started as one night of tests turned into two days of observation. My condition was so serious that they moved us by ambulance to a hospital that specializes in premature deliveries. By Thursday night my blood pressure had risen again. The test results that were coming back continued to look dangerous for my health (208/105). I had developed preeclampsia.

The doctors decided it was time for you to be born.

I wasn’t scared. Everyone around me was doing an incredible job. I knew it was a huge risk for you to be born so early but you were kicking and moving the whole time. I knew you were strong.

They delivered you early Friday morning. Your dad sat beside me through the c-section. He was amazing. We were both so excited to hear you were a GIRL.

Welcome to the world our beautiful baby.

Love always,

Mom

Honestly, despite everything I had been through I was very calm when I wrote this.

I believed that my education and experience working with kids with disabilities put me in a special position to take care of my baby no matter what her needs were.

Life in the NICU

Having a baby in intensive care is nearly impossible to summarize in just a few short paragraphs.

Every day is different.

Every hour you are feeling something new.

You don’t know what to expect from one minute to the next.

We scrubbed in every morning to sit and watch the staff poke and prod our baby every three hours. The daily spells of apnea (when you stop breathing) and Bradycardia (slow heart rate) almost began to feel normal after the first week or two.

The most difficult day was waiting for the results of her blood transfusion to see if they were successful in fighting off Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), a deadly intestinal disease.

Despite having no guaranteed outcome our entire family stayed positive.

What I remember most about having a baby in the NICU was the overwhelming sense of gratitude.

There was a staff of brilliant, caring people watching her every second. 24-hours a day.

I have no doubt my child made gains simply due to the loving support of our entire family.

I remember holding our baby skin-to-skin as I looked across the room at all the other incubators. I observed several infants that never had a single visitor while I was there. It broke my heart.

We knew all the nurses.

My mom baked them trays of brownies.

How can you possibly thank someone who saves your child’s life?

Holding. Watching. Waiting.

This was our life for almost two months.

Newborn baby at home with dogs. Mother and premature baby in nursery.

Coming Home

As Ava neared 4 pounds she was transferred to the feeders and growers section of the floor.

We began meeting with the transition team to get ready to bring her home.

The thought of taking care of her on our own was scarier than having her in the hospital.

But I was ready to begin our life as a family of three.

On the day of her discharge, we initialed and signed a stack of paperwork. We brought her home and the dogs finally got a good sniff of this new little person up close. I remember my husband and I unloading all of her medical gear and lugging it upstairs. Her tiny nursery was quickly filled with monitors and tanks of oxygen.

It was so strange to have her in our house. How was I going to keep her safe after coming from such a sterile environment?

We had to learn to balance protecting her delicate immune system and letting her begin to be a typical newborn.

Part of our discharge plan was getting weekly visits from our state’s early intervention team. After just a few check-ins we agreed she was off to a good start and services were no longer needed.

I am fully aware that our story is not one that all NICU families get to experience.

I have spent the last 6 years as a speech therapist in home health. Now I’m the one educating families on what they can do to help their premature babies develop.

All those days in the NICU have given me a deeper understanding of the challenges many of my families face.

Our story goes on from there pretty much like most first-time parents. Just trying to figure it out as you go along.

Reflecting back on this time in our lives I think about what I learned most. Strength, gratitude and the power of love.